A Doubter's Certainties

Would anyone mind proofreading an introduction letter for me?

( Cut for sanity )

Thanks!

I'm doing a paper on Arkady and Boris Strugatsky's novella "Roadside Picnic" and I'd really like to talk with someone about the ending.

Has anyone on here read it?  If so, email me:  dreaded.night.turtle@gmail.com because I'd really like to pick your brain.

So, I need some help.  I'm currently taking a course in Restoration and 18th Century Literature, and have been assigned my final term paper.  I would like to write about the portrayal of women in 18th century comedies (specifically in Sheridan's The School for Scandal and Wycherley's The Country Wife) and then compare it to the portrayal of women in Hannah Cowley's Belle's Stratagem. 

Sounds fairly simple, right?

It would be, except I'm having a very difficult time finding good sources, you know, the good peer-reviewed scholarly stuff, to get started and to back some of my own thoughts on the subject.

Does anyone know of any good articles that they may have used in the past pertaining to gender and 18th century comedy?  I met with my professor and she gave me some good tips about reading just about anything I can find, but the issue is finding it.

Any suggestions/helpful comments would be most appreciated!

Thanks so much!

I've been constructing a lot of these connections later at work.

I've been shaping two for two potential couples - matters of heart. They don't really need it though, the bridges here are superfluous at best. But hey, it helps improve connections, so that's what I do. If it lessens someone's pain unnecessarily, then that's good right?

Then, there's me spanning connections all over the office. It's fun thinking you're a bit of a neutral-zone, a third party that can arbitrate any thing, and just like in Cheers, it's nice that everyone knows my name, and that I conjure up an image of trust and friendship. Yay.

The deals pay dividends in the conversations and coffee breaks. =)

I am officially moonlighting as a bridge builder. Yes. I build bridges from here to the moon, man. Dig that, Subspace!

I was walking down the street slowly, casually making my way the six blocks down to the diner near my old apartment to get some breakfast. I worked at home in those days, other than for client calls, so once a week if my schedule permitted I would take myself to the diner for a proper breakfast of eggs, sausage, stewed tomato and the like. This particular day the walk was harder than normal, as I had badly sprained my ankle the previous week and it was being particularly slow in healing. So I was slowly hobbling down the street with a crutch, and probably making a spectacle of myself.

While doing so I noticed a particularly handsome man coming towards me, about my age and similar in appearance (though, clearly, better looking than me). He suddenly noticed me and smiled as I passed. I smiled back and continued wobbling down to my breakfast, finally making it to the diner and sitting down, facing towards the door. Just after I ordered I noticed the man from the sidewalk come into the diner and look at me, at which I thought "Oh no, now what!" This reaction was not incorrect, as it was clear this guy had come in looking for me and I was then with a strongly jealous boyfriend in a rather claustrophobic relationship. The handsome guy walked the length of the diner, came up to me, and extended his hand with a business card in it.

"Excuse me sir," he said, "but I believe you dropped this on the street outside!"

He then turned and left. The card was one he had just had made on a machine in the shop next door, where you could generate your own one-off business cards. It had his name and contact information, and a note that said "I think you are very handsome. Call me!"

It was one of the nicer mornings I have had. It really perked me up. Of course nothing could come of that, and I felt bad for him, but the rules were the rules. I couldn't even keep the card as a memento, as the ex used to search my belongings for any evidence of unfaithfulness. The day I came home to find my copies of all my travel expense reports spread out across the dining room table, with post-its on them, and was required to give an explanation for what I was doing at each noted meal or other item ought to give you an example of how things were.

"That is a lot of money for one meal! Who did you take to dinner?!"

I used to treasure my trips elsewhere for work just to get a break from that sometimes, though my return home was always somewhat stressful as evidence was searched for of malfeasance on my part. It hadn't always been like that, but it got worse with time.

Here's a hint - be careful dating Italians. They do jealousy and grudge like no one else can manage. I know of what I speak - my mother is Italian. It doesn't matter how hot they are (and boy, are they hot). Of course, their own behavior is always acceptable, it is yours that must be controlled. In the genetic mix in my background that recessive gene didn't make it into my DNA. Perhaps that makes me rather weak willed.

On a recent trip to Provincetown I ended up in a conversation with a very attractive man of Italian background who was from the same town as my mother, and we were chatting along. He asked me:

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, that guy right over there."

"The one talking to the redhead?"

"Yep, that's him."

"Don't mind me saying this, but that looks pretty cozy over there. How can you stand him disrespecting you like that?"

I looked over and didn't see anything to indicate objectionable behavior on his part. But that, of course, is in the eye of the beholder. I think you are either wired for hair-trigger jealousy or you aren't. In my case it takes a LOT to get the green-eyed beast out, and he only comes out about once every four years or so. Even then his visits are brief and easily appeased.

To close this circle, I think there are two types: the easily jealous, and the easy-going. Cross-dating over that line is rarely going to end in success. The ex mentioned earlier, who was quite familiar with his jealous monster, finally got the misbehavior he was looking for. A year of nastiness followed before we parted ways. I would like to think he let that monster go after us, but I suspect it is hard wired into the DNA.

It's all too much rage for me.

It's 11:11 on 11/11.
I'm making the biggest wish of my life.

Ha. But I always wish for the same thing.

------
I'd just like to share this new blog that I came across while I was reading though Seth Godin's blog. It's called Escape from Cubicle Nation by Pamela Slim. The same author has a book out with the same name too. Both blog and book talk about the same thing I've been talking about for over a year now... escaping corporate!

Below is an excerpt from the first chapter of the book. Almost every word written in there describes exactly how I feel.

Ch 1 Escape From Cubby Nation

I am going to hunt down this book. Or hunt down an e-book. Whichever one I can find first.

Because now more than ever, I am determined to steer myself back into the road I want to travel.

Hi, I hope you could help me with this one, please:

What is the difference between those two sentences??

車をするなら酒を飲むな。。

車を止めたら、 ライトを消さなければなりません。

When we use "nara" and when "tara" structure?
Also, when we use the "-ba" form?

Thank you a lot!

Hi to all.

How do you say the command "fire!" in Japanese? Can't find it in my dictionary...

Thanx a lot!

Today's posting is about the positive. Now, I know I have been a Negative Ned for a while now, but really I have had some excuse and have been rather overwhelmed by a number of life circumstances of late. Still, life is not all dead puppies and backed up sewage, even if it feels like that at times. Hard times come and go, unless you take a dirt nap, so you have to try and roll with the punches.

OK, let me think now ...

Well, it has been amusing having a fight with the cats over my new blanket. Now, I am a person who gets cold. Easily. I didn't use to be this way, but in recent years I would be happiest if I could set the temperature at home to hover somewhere around 73 degrees at all times. Otherwise, I get a bit cranky. The hubby is happier with it around 60, to be honest. Growing up in England without central heating, or any source of heating in your bedroom at all, will do that to a person. Thus, hubby got sick of my whining about the temperature and bought me big, overstuffed blanket for on the couch. It is more of a comforter than a blanket, but we'll pretend it is a blanket. This thing is thick, and soft, and massively comfortable. It makes a big difference when after dinner I can swaddle up in that puppy and be comfortable for a while.

The problem is the cats. They think they have died and gone to furball heaven when I bring it out. Before you know if I have three of them curled up on it (and me by consequence), and I have some trouble breathing due to 30 pounds of cat meat on me. If I get up for any reason I have to chase the pack away to get it back. Still, it is nice to feel loved. This is a good thing.

With the stress of late I have been eating like an inhuman machine, and have only managed to gain a few pounds in the bargain. This is also good, though the draconian eating habits are returning to prevent me from getting to the point where I can no longer wear my "thin clothes." It's still nice to get the occasional hairy-eyeball stare from some random hottie on the subway in the morning. Like today. Some shady, attractive man was staring me down. It was nice to feel pretty.

I got an invitation to Thanksgiving from my sister for the hubby and I, which I was not expecting. She had stopped speaking to me for a few months after we got the parents situated in their new home, as she felt that I hadn't been nearly helpful enough in all that drama. This spares me from trying to work out a Thanksgiving meal by myself for us, and it will be good to see the nieces and nephew. There won't be many more of these occasions as she and her husband are planning to move to the Carolinas within a year or two, and I am simply not hauling my ass down there very often. We won't be able to have Mom over for Thanksgiving dinner, as she has sunk so far into dementia at this point (very rapidly) that she refuses to walk and we couldn't get a wheelchair into my sister's house. Dad we can get there, even though he forgot to mention to anybody that his vision was going and that he is now blind in one eye and only partial vision in the other. But, we didn't expect him to still be here this year, so having him over for Thanksgiving is a blessing indeed. These are good things.

My best friend has been nailed by the economy and a massive rent increase, and has failed to find a new job, but we worked out an action plan for him and his partner to survive the next several months and he is feeling much better. This is a good thing. Only one of us is allowed to be insane at a time. This is also a good thing.

My job is stable through the end of the year, at least until new management comes in (at which point all bets are off). This is a marked contrast to the last six months of constant doubt, so I will enjoy the at least few months of not worrying about that. Hubby's job may be going in the shitter soon, but plans are being laid to deal with that. One way or another, we will survive.

I've returned to my old love, bourbon, after a many years' absence. I allow myself two neat bourbons a week, and they provide me with a little comfort and memories of childhood, as bourbon was always the drink of choice in our house. The very smell reminds me of growing up, strange as that sounds, as my parents always had a bourbon-and-ice before dinner. It's a small thing, but it beats smoking as a habit. And I am very frugal about it.

The old brain meats are dealing with recent events pretty darn well considering. A few years ago I would have been a gibbering mess about everything (not running naked through Macy's, mind, but acting out in other ways). Instead, I'm getting through it all with only as much stress as you might expect for a normal person. This is an improvement.

So, things aren't that bad, despite my tendency of late to post about just bad things. Maybe tomorrow I will post something fun. I've had to do some creative writing for the class I am taking (which has been more stressful than fun due to things outside of class, but still a good thing). Maybe I will re-work something for here.

The holidays approach. I am determined to make the most of them this year. Bring on the tinsel (if the cats don't eat it).

Has anyone here read "And the Hipo's were Boiled in their Tanks"

Suddenly, the Music Downloads Rush from the Friends Page here in LJ. I nearly 'gasmed. So this was what I've been missing. No major relapse though; I haven't succumbed to my obsessive impulse to hoard icons here and there 8D Worse, make them 8D 

I'm trying not to believe that this 15-icon limit for PLUS accounts is a staggeringly meagre amount for possibly allowing a poster to furnish entries with "proper" images... »__»

Well, J and I have been talking of "Step 2"*, and I look at this website for grounding advice and whatnot; I've also been looking at dresses lately that should still be affordably priced, 'coz who can't discount prices nowadays??? Plus most girls like dresses and like to look pretty, and I am one of those. I was looking at this dress. Now for shoes: I don't know what style, especially as I don't have the teensiest feet. Maybe this? I was thinking something else: the more we can save, the more money we can use towards other stuff like honeymoon, or furniture, or other shopping stuff, or photographers like this one, and so on. I love pictures, so it's a semi-big deal: they're memories, and those count. Pictures and maybe gifts for guests like from here? Plus we won free invites here; yay! Ok, so things are still up in the air, no ring in sight, but J told me, "have patience, mouse*." And I said "mraow." We are going to a pre-crarriage* class next Saturday, which is completely free (whee!), by the way, here. That way, we save on a potential license, and all that, so yay more savings. Since I was too sick this weekend to go look at shiny jewelry, much to my frustration (body 1, me 0) and I will be going on a trip later this month with my folks to Machu Picchu, I playfully told J, now you can look without me! And he said yes :) We tried Etsy, but we didn't find anything that really caught us. So eh, we'll see. And J said that it has to be perfect for me, nothing from a bucket out of Safeway, no sir. Aaaw <3

So this is where we are. May Fortune/Lady Luck/God smile on us. We'll see how this will all turn out.



*Step 1= serious committed dating/moving in
Step 1.5= engagement?
Step 2= marriage
Step 2.5= preggers?
Step 3= children
- My folks did not follow this process AT ALL, so want mine to be perfect, whee! (Who can blame them for wanting the best for their baby girl/only child, though)

*mouse= me
bee= J

*credding= wedding
crarriage= marriage
-I refuse to say the actual word as I am too shy

This is not associated to anything I am studying, just one of the curious things I'm wondering about. This is not related to English; I'm asking just in case some of you might know something.

I read in Zondervan's A History of Christianity that at the rise of Christianity as a replacement of Roman culture, the Romans felt a sense that the world was old and at the end of its age, as the old gods were discarded for a newer one -- in other words, they had this sense that they were watching the end of their civilization.

Was there any art or literature produced during this period? Not Christian ones; that I'm fairly familiar with.

So something amazing happened on thursday. I met someone. He's more than just a boy I met offline. He is amazing. I can't explain how he makes me feel. There are so many small things that just are amazing. I'm too tired to explain it all now but here are 2 poems he just wrote for me.

Anna
By Oodie

i dont know if the writings going to have that 'fuck you kill me attitude anymore'
because i met someone
yep thats right
25 years later and i met someone
its not really someone, its something
a chubby little white girl from wisconsin
and she means more to me than my own self
id do about anything for her, to see her little tiny teeth in her mouth
or her brown eyes that are spaced perfectly apart
or her small little nose i could stare at for hours
its her thats going to change this writing around
call her the new editor of my life

sometimes its a bit difficult when you feel like you are moving away from your old self
and it happens in the matter of 3 days
but she was worth the time and effort to fuck my mind in half
and not even use brain protection
it was worth the effort to feel so good about yourself that you got scared
anything to bring tears of joy to my eyes rather than tears of sadness
its easy to feel like shit, all you have to do is think
but right now im not thinking, im pretty much just going with it
because i feel beautiful, and that sure is rare
putting the years of mental mindfucks and anxiety blackouts behind me
one day at a time
i think i'll probably find a better way
thank you, and you know who you are


More to come later.

Goodbye little buddy, I hope your new home treats you well

Can anyone please tell me what this means:

しゃしんはあなたですか？

ぼくのタイプです。

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Hello,
I was doing some exercise practice for the JLPT 3 exam, and I came across several sentence structures that I have never seen before (this is making me panic, bleh):

１．さんまは秋が旬の魚で、１０月から　１１月に　かけてが　一番おいしい　ころでしょう。
→ I don't quite understand the sentence structure: why is the て-form followed by a particle - in this case, が？ How do you use this sentence structure, and what is it used to express/used for?

２Ａ．また、あなたが家にいない時間に録画をしたいときは　録画の　予約ができ、たいへん便利です。
２Ｂ．それから、コピーの　機械の　ふたをあけ　コピーしたい　げんこうをおきます。
→ I've kind of figured out by guessing that this sentence structure (i.e. using the stem of a verb's ますform) functions somewhat like the て-form of a verb, in the sense that it's used to join sentences. One question that I have though, is this: when is it appropriate to use the stem of a verb's ますform and when to use a verb's て-form to join sentences?

Help will be much appreciated because I am really quite confused! :(

Thanks a million in advance! :)

Hello! Could you please tell me what does this mean:

復旧の目処は立ってない。